This post is sort of an insightful look back as well as peek in to the future of more to come for this blog. Twinkie Talks is a blog created out of depression and a feeling of wanting to be heard. It was around the winter of 2011 when I felt completely abandoned. My friends were off living their own lives and my family seemed to not be able to comprehend at all what was happening to be. I was suffering from a little demon known as loneliness and no matter what I did it would not go away. I tried to be out going, friendly and approachable. That did not seem to help. There was an aura about me that simply made me stand out as the one who will always be ignored, unheard and left behind as the group moved on in its unending flow. All those who I had held dear had moved on to what seemed like better people, much more “fun” people. So I lay there in the night soaking up my pillows in hopes of finding an outlet for my own personal expression. An outlet I could never truly find.
Time passed and the wounds inflicted by the dark depths began to heal. I no longer feared the inside of the a dark isolated room but rather enjoyed its nyctophylic embrace. I had come to terms with the fact that I truly had to walk this dreaded island alone and that there will never be any one truly by my side. Surely I have gone back on that thought time and time again but humanity always proves it self most inhumane at the end. My heart only pleasured in rage and frustration at this time. Something needed to be done. I needed a station, a platform to express.
I found I could let out my built-in expressions on a little old blog in spheres of Blogger.com, and that was when Twinkie Talks came into being. I would let out my ideals on a silent little blog post every few days I’d have something new to sadly moan to the internet about. I grew very busy with these new delights but something still felt incomplete. I was a howling little wolf in the silent dead night. No one even read my tiny about page in over an year of time. I was flummoxed once more, there was nothing I felt I could do, no matter how hard I tried how much I expressed, the world just did not have an year for me. I would post my blog posts on millions of social media sites and try to get out the word to as many “friends” I had. They were uninterested, my ideas were too boring for them to comprehend. What hurt even more was how another popular individual tried to do the same thing and cursing watchers poured their hearts out to her writing, I let it go but I bit my lip with every comment she received.
A could months passed and I came across a simple “10 things to do while…” list post in the depths of the internet with an interesting domain name. A WordPress site with a promising establishment. A gazed deeper into this new found place and found the dailypost site and a community that seemed to be so intricately well held. I had to move over rightaway and I did, migrated my blog and couldn’t feel any better. The community was loving the reader was fascinating and each view filled my self with joy. I was finally being heard, being felt, and spreading inspiration. In just just an year I gained over a hundred followers and just a few days ago I passed the 200 mark.
WordPress has lifted me to so many highs and surely there are more to come. My personal life has improved quite a lot as well even though I still face the shattering wrath of humanity from time to time, I am still able to move. This is not the end though, there are still many mountains left to conquer and many new vines to swing. I have started a podcast recently and have been working on my own poetry compilation for the past few months. I wish to bring in new bloggers and feature every single person I find inspiring. I want to introduce more weekly fictional content and other authors as well for those who may be growing weary of my style like many have before.
The sea push on endlessly towards the horizon and it is my duty to carry on with them.