Diary Week 0: Out the Nest, to the Next

I have always been a caged bird, dreaming of the days when I soar free. From a very young age I’ve had a lot of alone time, ready to discover the deep depths of my mind. I used to conquer mountains made of couch cushions and leads armies through the hallways, but as time went on the adventures faded further away and popped back up only as future  goals. I still dreamed of steep distant mountains and foggy morning skies but I could no longer run around the house pretending I was chasing a golden mystical dragon.

The fruition of my goals presented itself in the form of an international scholarship. I was gonna leave my country for a newer greener land filled with adventurous potential. I was set for 4 years, adrenaline rushing back into my  veins. I was finally free from the metaphorical chains, diving out the nest and into the skies.c0tl58-uuaadzmd

Like every young chick however there was a bit of underlying anxiety, a disbelief in your wings and an expectation to just give out and plummet into the earth. This was when I started watching the news. Tyrannic worldly elections, Destructive assassinations and plane crashes all around sprinkled with controversially heartbreaking celebrity death.

My intuition warned of ill decisions, as my heart palpitated anxious ambitions. Was the cage really where I truly belonged ? Were these chains which I dreaded so much really just supports to hold up my own weight which my own two feet could not ?

Crippled by the thoughts I shut down my ambition and retreated into exile, 4 months of isolation, silence and darkness embracing a sulking creature in the depths of a blanket. I would hide away from the sun and celebrate the coming dusk, be unresponsive to friendly calls seeking some sort of misogynistic refusal. Most of my dreams turned into nightmares as the months crept by.IMG_20170105_130539408_HDR.jpg

Time came swooshing in and there it was, 1 month to flight time, 1 month of sorrow, 1 month of goodbyes. Being coddled by many, fake well wishers wishing the best through their envious breaths. There were those however who would re-ignite the hopes, remind me of the horizons, the roads yet to be traveled. The true comrades, friends and allies all around. Companions also crippled in cages afar. The smiles lead me back into reality, the hopes of these nested playmates leading me to push out the cage.

I needed to explore, to live on and lead through to the other side, if not for myself, than for them; the ones who truly believed. They too needed to break free, they too needed to fly and for me to curse my unbelievable opportunity seemed like betrayal towards them.

So only a few hours to flight time, I kissed my chains a final goodbye and left a hopeful message to all those still crippled by their circumstances, I broke free from a hopeless ambition crippling “developing” country, and I still wish to go back, but not as anther crippled chick adding to the dying flock but as a leading soaring eagle flying gracefully towards altitudes atop.


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