These eyes despise
what the heart cannot feel
the enemy lies within our greed
in the truth we perceive whatever life may be
in sorrow we see the truth of destiny
with anguish and courage
strike cowards in anxiety
with fear we lead in the night’s succession
only to find the root
of half ended apologies
Twinkie Talks 
“…the truth of destiny…”. Like this.
I’m going to start by saying that I’m a huge fan of free verse and it’s a style I write in myself quite a bit. I read your piece through a few times and I thought you managed to get the flow running really well which isn’t easy in this style, but that the lack of punctuation did make the poem ramble a tad. I felt that some of the force was lost from a couple of the really good lines because nothing sort of held you up to make you think about what you’d just read. For example line’s five, six and seven left me scratching my head a little, just because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to be reading them. However, overall I thought it was a pretty good poem with a lot of promise. Keep writing.
Well i really love and enjoy punctuation myself, but every time I do freestyle poetry I try to steer clear of it. T’is only to give the poetry the freedom it deserves, If you have some time please do read some other works you’ll see they’re much easier to follow but not quite as open to perception as the freestyles. Thank you for the feedback and the visit it is highly appreciated 🙂
It’s certainly an interesting style. Clearly I was getting free style and free verse a little muddle up, my apologies. I have check out a few of your poems and you have a wonderful sense of language.
“In sorrow we see the truth of destiny”
Well said. 🙂
Well done! It was a good read and I love the structure 🙂